On Friday (7/4/08), Emma and I did our normal errands.  Who cares that it was a holiday and everyone was at the store buying last minute things…we needed milk and of course when you go into the Super Wal-mart for one thing you end up buying a lot of things.

It usually starts with, “Mommy, can I have a toy if I’m good?”

“No.  We are not buying any toys.  You don’t take care of the toys you have now.”

“What about candy?  Can I have some candy?”

“I don’t know.  It depends how good you are.” 

“Can I get a cookie from the bakery?”

“Emma, would you just stop asking so many questions?  I mean really…how many questions can you ask from the car to the door?”  (Yes, I see the irony in this statement and I feel for all of you when I ask questions one right after another in an unrelenting manor.  I feel your pain.  Does it mean I’m going to stop?  No.  It just means I know what you go through while dealing with me and let me tell you… you have more tolerance than I.  Thank you for that.)

“A lot.”  Silence for two feet.  “What about some new sunglasses?  I could really use some new sunglasses.”

“Why do you need new sunglasses?  You don’t use any set of sunglasses I’ve ever purchased for you.”

“Well, the reason why I don’t wear my sunglasses is because they shrunk.”

“Your sunglasses did not shrink.”

“Yes, they did.”

“No, they didn’t.  Plastic just doesn’t shrink.”

“They did shrink.  Why don’t you just believe me.”

“Because they didn’t shrink.  You just have a big head.”

“I do not have a big head.”

“Yes, you do.  It’s from constantly wanting me to buy you things that you won’t take care of or need.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.  Why do you think I call you ‘Pumpkin?’  It’s short for Pumpkin Head.”

“My head’s not orange.” 

“No, but a pumpkin is a gourd and there are white gourds.  Remember, you painted one last year.  We put a purple feather on it’s head.”

“So, why not call me Gourd Head?” 

“It doesn’t sound as pleasant as Pumpkin.”

“But, I don’t want a big head.”

“Then, stop asking for everything you see.”  This was the highlights from the Wal-mart conversation when we went in to get one gallon of milk.  We ended up buying the milk along with sour cream, cream cheese, garlic bread, two shirts (a button up and a tank top) for me, five shirts for her, cat food, listerine, kid germ killer, spray bottle, tortilla chips and kid floss.  When I impluse buy…I impluse buy.  It’s a good thing I don’t have a truck, because I probably would have walked out with my patio set. 

Anyway…I didn’t think anymore about the conversation until this morning.  We left to go to church and on the way there Emma announces, “Mommy, my head shrunk.”

“What?”

“My head…I stopped asking you for things and my sunglasses don’t hurt my head anymore.  It must have shrunk.  It worked.  Thank you, Mommy.”

“You’re welcome.” If only life were that easy…

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