Since the beginning of Kindergarten, I have been cast aside by my child starting with the infamous phrase, “You can go now, Mommy” which I have every intention of bringing up to her when she leasts expects it. (The other phrase I’m saving for a later date, “That music is up too loud. It’s hurting my ears.”) I realize I should be grateful Emma is not like I was in grade school. I was quiet and shy. Unsure of myself and where I fit in. Emma knows.
I see traces of my attitude in her. The looks she gives people when they say something she doesn’t agree with or how she will correct someone when they have upset her. Sometimes I can’t help but smirk. I see the verbal tongue lashing form. She will verbally give a person a list of wrongs. Not only will she state the problem, but she will follow it up with an explanation as to why it was wrong. Consider yourself lucky if she only gives you one explanation.
She does one more thing that impresses me. If she’s taken the time to explain what you’ve done and you didn’t bother to listen to her, she then starts to ignore you. In my opinion, that’s impressive for an 8 year old.
In many respects, I’m proud of Emma. Prouder than I probably should be. Somehow she managed to get the confidence it took me decades to master. She thinks with her head and her heart all the while continuously vocalizing her opinion. While there are periods where I have to re-explain which one of us is the parent, she knows she has boundries.
Most of the time…even when I’m frazzled…I realize I’m doing a good job with her. She’s smart. She’s creative. She’s caring. She’s confident. She’s so many things that it took me a lifetime to figure out. And yet…she’s still willing to ask every question if only to learn every difference. In her…I see the past, live in the present, and hope for the future.
Life is good.
